Maximum Mortal Fault
by Ahluwalia Kaur
Summary: What happens when all you have left suddenly leaves you too ? You break. Or do you ? Do you give up, or do you rise above it all to become a whole new person ? Well, people are about to find out ! Trigger warning: Self-harm/ Language.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, this is my first major story, guys. An effort to share my writings with all you lovely people, since it is no secret we absolutely adore Rose and Dimitri. I won't rant much, lest I ruin the fun, but I definitely want to ask you to share your views on this with me, through the review section, or the PM, it's up to you. But if you like this, do visit my personal blog 'Maple Musings',**

 **Site address:** **https(colon)(double slash)(themaplebyahluwaliakaur).(blogspot).com(single slash)**

 **and don't forget to let me know your opinions there too. I'll be waiting !**

 **Without further ado, please go on...**

 **DISCLAIMER: I only own the plot, the rest belongs to the very talented Richelle Mead.**

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 _ **MAXIMUM MORTAL FAULT**_

The words bounced off in my head, like an acidic riff.

'Love fades, mine has.'

Tears threatened to spill through the dredges of composure I held onto so desperately. Plastering the all-too-famous guardian mask, I drew myself up from the pew and looked him straight in the eye.

"I hope it's true. Likewise to me as it was for you." I said before retreating down the aisle and out of the church. I hadn't missed the instantaneous pain reflected in his expression at my response and I reveled in it.

God forbid anyone see Rose Hathaway break.

No. All the breaking I'll do will be behind closed doors, without any witnesses.

I'll cry, just once, for the love I had lost even after going through hell to save it. And him.

I reached the relative safety of my room without bumping into anyone and slid down the door as those words came back to me. The composure I'd managed to hold all this time slipped away and a sob escaped me. Soon it turned into a full-blown breakdown. Memories crashed into my brain, one after the other, never-ending and all-consuming.

It felt like my heart was being ripped open, piece by excruciating piece, never to be put back together again. I curled into myself as I let the tears wrack my weary body, though the position did little in easing my pain. Pain that seemed to have only started. Pain, that was actually an endless torture I was being subjected to, in feeling my heart being torn of every layer, every muscle and every beat that ever loved him. And love him I did. So much, it physically hurt.

And what had it come to.

I was convinced it was just another attempt to warn me off. To hurt me enough to keep me away. To distance himself. It was all so typically Dimitri.

But I was wrong. It was the look of absolute aloofness accompanied with his words that did it for me. The coldness in his eyes, so foreign and yet so familiar, that made me believe he meant every word he'd said.

'Love fades, mine has.'

A fresh wave of tears coursed through me and I let them take over. I just couldn't seem to stop. Was there even any point ? My masochistic mind wouldn't stop playing the words over and over in my head. And it hurt more each time. How could I possibly get through this ? How could I move on ? Was there even such a thing as moving on ? My body shook with the impact of the pain that crashed through me again and I screamed, letting my feelings out in the open for once.

I couldn't take it anymore. I got up from the floor and stumbled towards the washroom. The cabinet held a first-aid box, from which I extracted my razor. Positioning it along my arm, I slashed the skin. The bite was instant, not that it registered with me. Lissa used to do this, saying it was relieving in a way no amount of therapy could compensate for. I wonder if I'll feel that ? That sense of total bliss and hazy euphoria...that sense of complete control while inadvertently losing all control...

So I kept going. Until my arm was nothing short of an ensemble of ribbons. Bloody red ribbons of skin. Ironic, actually. That I would do the one thing I was trained to do, only to hurt myself instead of the designated evil enemy.

The flow of blood from the wounds did offer me clarity. The pain seemed to flow out with the red liquid and I felt relaxed. Like it would all be okay. Even if only for a short while. Sighing, I wrapped my arm up and decided to get some doughnuts. Nothing like some sugary goodness to get me up.

Out in the room, I pulled on a long-sleeved black shirt and headed out, grabbing my stake in the process. The diner I wanted to go to wasn't far from my room and I speed-walked towards it so as not to attract attention. I wasn't up for any type of confrontations.

But when did I ever get what I actually wanted ? So as soon as I entered the cafe, I was met with the jade green eyes of my best friend on the far side of the room, Lissa Dragomir. Only at this moment she looked nothing like the angelic person I've known my entire life. In her place was a storm. A very pissed off storm.

She made to move towards me but a hand stopped her. Dimitri. My cold Russian God. I schooled my expression into one of nonchalance and walked to the counter to order an eclair.

'Rose. You and I need to talk.' I heard in my head, but ignored it. Still she was my best friend and bondmate, so it was my duty to check for the lingering darkness in her brain. Only there was none. The rage was all Lissa, which somehow made it all worse. I sighed internally.

'Come sit with us right now. We are gonna have a talk. You can't be this selfish when you know what everyone's been going through.' I heard her speak through the bond again as I collected my order.

I was going to ignore her again, until her words registered with me. My eyes snapped over to her of their own accord as I looked at her in disbelief. Selfish ? I am selfish ? I couldn't believe it. She called me selfish when I was the one who went through hell to save the person she was now shielding from me.

I closed my eyes, an urgent need to get out of there coursing through me. I dropped my food into the trash, suddenly losing my appetite and bolted through the door. I couldn't stand being around either of them right now. Dimitri's words were still fresh and Lissa wasn't helping. So I did the only thing I could think of. I ran away.

I chuckled darkly at the irony. Running seemed to be the one thing I was good at. I ran away from the safety of St. Vlad's when Lissa came into her powers. I ran away from Dimitri when he got bitten. I ran away from the Academy again when I found out Dimitri was Strigoi. I ran away from the Belikovas. I ran away from court to release my mortal enemy from a hidden prison. I ran away from everything. Just like I am running away from the love of my life right now. Ironic, because said love was the one who drilled the importance of 'running' into me in the first place.

I came to an abrupt stop at the end of the perimeter wards of the court, panting. I didn't realise my cheeks were wet until I slid down a tree in a hidden brush. I fingered the blade in my pocket. It would be so easy. I could let it all out...and no one would know any better. I could stop the pain from consuming me.

So I added more to my list of faults. I did it again. And again. And again.

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 **And...that ends the first chapter. Now, you guys need to do your part in reviewing. I'll see you there !**

 **X**

 **Ahluwalia Kaur**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I thank all of the lovely people who reviewed the last chapter. You were the ones who inspired me to continue this story. Your reviews were like the push I needed to write more and be better doing it. Thank you. I hope this one is up to the expectations you had. Don't forget to let me know how you find it. And don't forget to visit my blog 'Maple Musings' for more of my writings.**

 **Site address:** **https(colon)(double slash)(themaplebyahluwaliakaur).(blogspot).com(single slash)**

 **DISCLAIMER: The characters aren't mine. But I still find them fascinating.**

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Two weeks. That's how long I've been hiding in my room, only going out in the wee hours of the night...or day, depending on which clock you followed. And then too, I hid in the shadows, which was very hard to do, but years of sneaking in and out after hours had made me a skilled slinker.

I always went to the edge of the wards. It was like the place described my life perfectly. I was at the precipice of insanity. I could cross the wards and be thrown into the dangers that lingered outside in the dark, biding their time. Or I could stay where I would be safe...physically at least. Same was with my mind. I could give in to the growing darkness I was sucking from Lissa everyday and give up myself, or I could continue to flow out my troubles through my blood and pain and feel relatively sane for a while.

People came and went. No one bothered to stay for much longer than a few minutes, trying to coax me into letting them in. Not even Adrian. Not that I can blame him. He may be drunk most of the time, but he was smart. And intuitive. He saw how I reacted to Dimitri after he returned and slowly grew distant. It was actually for the best. I was in no position to help someone being as I currently was. I sighed and smiled derisively. My life. The perfect cover for karma to say 'Fuck You'.

I knew it was about time the guard on patrol was to return, so like every other time, I chickened out and went back to my room. The hallway was empty and my room was my safe haven. Or so I thought.

"Finally she returns." Said a sarcastic voice from the far end of my room. I froze. My senses honed into my surroundings searching for a way out. The room had only one exit. One which I'd just walked in from and just as I turned to bolt, a body framed the doorway, blocking my only way out. I'm sure my expression matched that of a deer caught in the headlights at that moment.

But Dimitri gave me no indication that he'd seen my lapse, or even that it was me standing in front of him. He had on his guardian mask and sinfully familiar attire of black jeans, white shirt and his trademark duster. My almost dead heart gave a painful squeeze at the familiarity of it all.

It took me a few moments to school my face into it's indifferent mask. I had perfected it in an attempt to hide and wallow in my pain alone. Not that it worked much. I turned to face Lissa.

I didn't speak. I could sense from the bond that she'd talk enough for the both of us. She didn't disappoint.

"Are you even listening to me ?" Lissa asked mid-lecture. Or I should say mid-derision. She had been going on for the past twenty minutes about how I was the most selfish creature on Earth for 'abandoning' her like I did. And how I always only thought about myself and had no regard for how others felt. How Dimitri felt. How she felt.

I heard it all. But never once did I speak. What was the point ? What was there left to prove ? What did it matter if I said anything ? Her preconceived notions seem to be doing her fine. So I simply continued to stare at her, even as I was acutely aware of the other penetrating gaze on me.

"You're not going to answer me, huh ?" Lissa said. "I suppose I should've seen this coming. You always were the selfish and cowardly type." She shrugged nonchalantly.

I just stared. And then I laughed. A short bark of a sound that my body seemed to get out, anyway. Darkness clouded my mind and words spewed out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"That's rich, coming from you. I am not the one who hides behind other people when reality comes knocking. I am not the one who pretends to be good while she cheats and lies about it. I am not the one who expects people to die for her while she stays safe within the boundaries of her protection circle." I said, my voice low and devoid of emotion. I was done feeling anything.

"You owe me your life !" Lissa shouted. "If it weren't for me, you would've been dead far longer than anything. Maybe that is all you are good for, after all." She looked me in the eye. "I should never have thought to befriend such a lowlife as you. It was because of you that I lost everyone."

My voice was even and flat when I answered her. "You revived me after the accident because you didn't want to be alone. You asked me to leave the academy because you were afraid of being the butt of jokes and jeers. You cheated on Christian because you wanted to prove you could get anyone you wanted. And you revived Dimitri because you wanted to be seen as someone who could achieve something no one else could. You've always been trying to prove a point." I shrugged noncommittally. "It has always been about you. Don't even think about putting it all on me."

I stood up. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have nothing more to say to you." I headed toward the washroom. I needed a clear head. Now. "Please be gone by the time I come out." I picked up some clothes and locked the bathroom door after me.

Silent tears of rage slid down my cheeks as I recalled the conversation. How could she ? I didn't hear them leave, so I muffled my sobs into the sleeves of my shirt.

Getting up from the floor was a struggle. But then again, much of everything was a struggle these days. As I picked up the blade from behind the cabinet, ny eyes found my reflection. I stopped and stared at myself for a minute.

The girl that stared back at me was nothing more than a walking corpse. My eyes seemed hollow and blank, my lips dry and forming a flat line. The skin on my face seemed ten shades bluer than I remembered and my cheekbones jutted out of my face like an extra accessory I needed to take off if I wanted to look remotely like a person. I shrugged. I just didn't care anymore. I had more important things on my mind.

I settled into the tub, fully clothed and pressed the blade deep into my thigh. It didn't nearly do me enough. The voice started again, sounding so much like Lissa that I thought she was actually contacting me through the bond. But the bond was currently blocked. Now that won't do.

I focused all my energy into opening up the link that I shared with my former best friend. It was hard work and draining, but I got it open. And immediately regretted it with everything in my body and mind.

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 **You know, I'm quite excited to see how this pans out as well. Well, let's see. But suggestions from everyone of you would be very much appreciated. Do leave a review...!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you a lot people ! You are great ! Now, I won't keep you waiting. Here comes another chapter with Rose Hathaway. Thanks for sticking with me through this.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters. The plot, however...**

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I'd like to think that I'm a strong person. That despite it all, I am a warrior and I can get through anything. Because that is exactly what I have been training for all my life. Surely there could be nothing braver than being in the front lines and putting your life on the line each time you step out into the world. Surely there could be nothing braver than being able to say that I am prepared to do what it takes to save the person I am entitled to. Surely that makes me a strong person. Because there isn't anything else that could encompass courage like being able to give up your own life.

Unfortunately, that is not the case with me. Being told that my life was not worth as much as some Moroi's since I was four, made me disregard my life as much as one could. I never cared for my life. Even less after I was shadow-kissed. So being strong for me doesn't come with a blatant display of loyalty towards the Moroi.

In fact, if I go through the facts, it turns out I was very much disillusioned. I am not a strong person at all. Because if I was, then I wouldn't be here, sitting in my tub, fully clothed, mourning the ultimate stab and consequent death of the last dregs of sanity I had left in some remote recesses of me. It's been a few hours since I detached myself from the scene of Dimitri telling Lissa just how 'over me' he was and the tears haven't stopped since. It was all I could do to stop myself from clawing my eyes out.

I had entered Lissa's mind with the intention of sucking her darkness and doing my duty of protecting her, because my honor was all I had left even if I wasn't showing it these days. But the scene that greeted me was the last nail in my coffin.

Lissa and Dimitri were in a room in Guest Housing in the modest part of the court, so I assumed it was Dimitri's room, courtesy of Lissa, of course. They were seated beside each other on the bed, talking. About me.

"She doesn't deserve my friendship and love. Didn't you see how she hurt me ? I think it has been building for a while now." She mused. "When she left to go to Russia, I begged her to stay but she rebuffed me. I thought that was because she 'loved' you so much." Lissa curled her fingers around the word. "But maybe she was just scared. Scared that at some point she would have to sacrifice herself for me and so she fled."

"I don't think that's true." Dimitri said. "She has always looked out for you, even that time with Avery." He raised an eyebrow. I hated that I still found a part of me fascinated with that.

"You may be right, but she definitely has changed now. The girl I was friends with died the night you came back." She lifted her hand then and stroked his cheek. I felt just how much she enjoyed touching him like this...in these rarely intimate moments. "But I wouldn't change a thing if it meant you got the chance at life you've wanted."

Dimitri leaned into her touch. "I don't know how to thank you for what you've given me. But from here on out, I pledge my life to you. You are my angel and I owe it to you. I will do everything in my power to always keep you safe and protected. You deserve it." He swore and my heart broke all over again.

Why ? Oh why couldn't he see that it was me more than Lissa all along ? And why the hell couldn't I just stop caring altogether ?

Lissa giggled. "Who needs Rose when I could have you as my ultimate protector ?" She smiled delightedly and that was the death of me, right there.

But leaving it at that would have been too kind, I suppose, because Dimitri continued.

"You know, I have been thinking this through quite a lot. I mean, I know you wanted an answer but seeing Rose today made me realise that she never could give what it takes to be a guardian to the last Dragomir and I've been deluding myself. I know you and Rose are bonded but I would love to be your guardian for the rest of my life and protect you from anything you might need protection from." He concluded.

Lissa gasped dramatically and squealed. It was almost like the joyful glee she used to get when talking about going shopping. Or when her father brought her something she'd really wanted. She gave Dimitri a big hug and they ended up tangling on the bed. They laughed and I saw and felt how content they were. How happy they could be.

I saw how Dimitri looked at her. Like she was the heaven and God itself, if there was even such a thing. Like she was the salvation he so badly craved.

I saw Dimitri look at Lissa the way he'd looked at me that night in the cabin.

I couldn't take it anymore. I closed my eyes against the last beats of my cold heart drowning in soul-tearing agony and with the last dredges of will power I had, I sucked all of Lissa's darkness from her. Every last drop of it.

It made me feel undeniably powerful and out of control. The connection started fizzing out the more I sucked, until eventually Lissa was just a very distant memory in the very back of my mind and everything around me faded and dimmed until an all-black blanket wrapped around me.

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 **So, what's the verdict ?**

 **I keep asking that, because it's very important to me. Also, an invitation out to every reader who comes across my stories and likes them, I happen to be on blogger, so check that out too. It's 'Maple Musings',**

 **Site address:** **https(colon)(double slash)(themaplebyahluwaliakaur).(blogspot).com(single slash)**

 **X**

 **Ahluwalia Kaur**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Oh my god ! So many reviews to this story...You people continue to give me thorough support for continuing forward. So, here's with another chapter.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I own simply the plot, with a few scenes from the original.**

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It was a while before I woke up. My brain seemed to be more out of it than usual and it took me a few minutes to realise that I was still in the tub and the blade I'd used last night, albiet unconciously, was floating in the blood red water around me.

I smiled. How curious it was that such a tiny thing could do so much damage. But then again, it is always the little things that hurt the most. I suppose whoever said that knew what they were talking about.

It was a bit different this morning. I felt different. Rejuvenated. Stronger and bursting with energy. But the petty human emotions and the pain I'd been feeling last night were gone. It was a relief. I smiled again and got out of the water. A shower and some food sounded like heaven right now.

I was feeling good after a very long time, so I decided to savour it as long as it lasted. I hummed as I showered and dressed for the day. Considering that I had been about ready to end my life the previous night, it was a bit weird that I was feeling so...alive today. But I wasn't complaining.

Looking into the mirror gave me pause. I was back to looking like my old self. Smirking to myself, I started picking out my clothes. As I looked through my clothes, all dark colours, I came to a sudden stop as I realised that the now familiar and welcome sting of my damaged arms and hands and legs was gone.

Scrutinizng myself more closely, I saw that all my cuts had disappeared and my skin was soft and smooth. No indication that I had been at the end of amateur bleeding tattoo sessions far too much in the last while. But that was okay with me. It just saved me the hassle of finding something remotely cool with sleeves.

I skipped over to the closet and donned a pair of jean shorts with a burgundy crop top. Casual, chic and sexy. My combat boots called me and soon, I was out the door, my stakes back in their resting place in my boots. I felt good. And it was about time Rose Hathaway made a comeback.

I remembered Dimitri accepting some offer Lissa had made him, which I guess had something to do with him being her primary guardian. I shrugged to myself. She could have him. I'd just talk to Hans and have myself reassigned to someone else. I smirked as I imagined the look on Hans' face when I'd meet him later.

After all, I had fought tooth and nail to be the best possible for Lissa. I scoffed under my breath.

"Rose ?" I heard a voice call me from a few feet behind me. I whipped around and came face to face with Christian Ozera.

Who opened his mouth to most likely say something snarky but never got around to doing it as his jaw hung open while his eyes scanned me from top to bottom.

CPOV:-

There weren't many things that fazed me, being who I was. But I could honestly say that seeing Rose Hathaway walking down towards the main court area stalled me.

Without thinking, my mouth opened and I called her name, not really believing she was finally out and about. And when she turned around at the sound, my mind was well and truly stupefied.

Her long brown hair had a luscious shine to it, skin healthy looking with her original tan back and her face had regained the former beauty she was known for, although there were some more angles and planes to it.

But the most astounding part of her were her eyes. They had their infamous lusture back along with a glint that screamed 'Don't mess with me'. And underneath it all, they held the promise of destruction to anyone who dared got on the wrong side.

I didn't know if I should be scared or fascinated. She looked like she could rip anyone apart with one single look and hell if I wasn't enthralled.

"Hiya Sparky !" She slowed her pace a bit. I rolled my eyes. I wasn't some incompetent kid who couldn't walk fast enough for her. I sped up and she followed, smirking the whole time.

That was another thing. Rose didn't smirk. At least, not at me.

"You look good. What brings you out of your self-imposed exile ?" I asked, genuinely curious.

She shrugged. "I was hungry."

And I'm sure my face must have looked as incredulous as I felt, because surely she didn't just say what I think she said. After everything, she comes out of her room just because she's hungry ?

"What ?" She asked.

"You've been cooped up in your room for more than two weeks, not answering to anyone or anything, and now you come out because you are hungry ?!" I was genuinely puzzled. I knew how much she loved food but still...

"I didn't stutter, Sparkles." She replied."You should know how much I love my food." She skipped a bit on her feet.

I didn't reply or comment. Usually I always had something to say, but right now, I couldn't find anything. I looked over at her again, scrutinizing her for any solid changes from the girl I was used to knowing.

And there were changes. She was almost like...

"You seem different." I said. "Almost like..."

"Like what ?" She asked when I didn't continue.

"Almost like the past few months never happened. Like you are back to the girl who'd just returned to the Academy and still had most of her rebelliousness running in her veins." I couldn't resist smirking.

She smiled. "Careful, Pyro. You might just ignite the streak looking for a fight." She flipped her hair and winked.

Oh, now that was a challenge, and she knew I couldn't turn down one if my life depended on it. I lit my hands with red-orange flames and moved them so the flames grew and surrounded her from the waist down.

"I can handle it." I threw at her, smirk still in place.

Only it flat-lined a minute later when she reacted in the most unexpected of ways.

Her body reacted to the flames. She laughed and waved her hands over the dancing flames, both of us watching as they exuded black tendrils that gathered the magical fire into one single ball. And then holding the ball in her hands, she seemed to perpetually absorb it.

I watched with my mouth hanging agape. And when I looked up at her again, I'm sure my face reflected the awe I was feeling. I just hoped it didn't show just how freaked out I was too.

Oh man, Rose Hathaway was coming back. And with a bang too. The question was...Could we actually survive it ?

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 **Thoughts ? I was a bit wired with this chapter, please tell me how you find this one. I eagerly await your opinions.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey guys ! I know I promised an update sooner, but you know how it is when writer's block strikes. But I am back now ! And this one is as a thank you to all of the lovely people who took the time to review the last chapter. Please know that you are all wonderfully appreciated. Moving on...**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters. They belong to Richelle Mead.**

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RPOV:-

There is nothing more exhilirating than seeing someone look at you like you are one-of-a-kind. Like they haven't ever seen anything quite like you before. That look of awe mixed with respect and a certain level of fear makes you feel like the most powerful being ever created.

And when it is someone you never thought would fear you, it makes it even better. As Christian looked at me after my little stunt, I felt the magic surge within me. My body tingled, like I was being caressed by velvety hands from the inside out. A shiver of pleasure rolled down my spine, even as nerves at once again being an oddity gripped some remote part of me. I promptly shook the feeling off. I survived all through. This will be no exception.

Looking at Christian, I smirked. "Still think you can handle me, Pyro ?" I asked.

But he seemed to have been left speechless. And then he shook his head.

"What the hell just happened ?" He questioned, moving closer to me and scrutinizing me intently. "How did you do that ?"

I rolled my eyes. "You should be used to weird by now, shouldn't you ?" I said as I motioned for him to start walking.

"I saw Lissa last night." I said, pointing at my temple, indicating the bond. "She was blocking me. I had to force the link open and she was with Dimitri." I said, not oblivious to the fact that the memory didn't bother me at all. It seems all my emotions have turned...off. It's a relief.

Christian nodded. "As expected." I heard the bitterness in his voice and chuckled. I couldn't help myself. Sparky and jealousy looked cute together.

"She offered him the position of her primary guardian. He accepted because apparently I can't give what it takes to be the proper guardian to the 'Last Dragomir'." I rolled my eyes with a smirk. "And I guess my emotions overwhelmed me and I sucked all of the darkness from her." I told him.

I saw Christian frown at that. "So you just pulled all of that entity from her and now you are some sort of black element freak ?" He asked with just the right amount of sarcasm and skepticism lining his voice, but I could tell he didn't see me as a freak.

At least, not yet. But I had a history of blowing things that were remotely good to me. I inwardly rolled my eyes as a part of me surged up, blaming me for every horrible thing that had happened since the attack at the academy. Dimitri's turning, Lissa's sprint with Avery, Dimitri's rejection and even Lissa's betrayal. I ruthlessly tamped that part down. I wasn't going to let myself feel like crap if I could help it.

We finally reached the cafe. And as we entered, my powers pulled out so intensely that I jerked for a moment before getting myself under control. Scanning the crowd, I scoffed.

Of course. The banes of my existence would be there in the place I wanted to be. But still, something tickled my mind.

I tended to feel Lissa growing louder inside my head when I was nearing her in person, a consequence I came to realise after she reinstated Dimitri into his previous state. But right now, there was nothing.

No presence in my head. No hot or cold feeling surrounding my mind. Checking to see if my hunch was right, I stopped abruptly in the doorway as I rooted around in my mind for the familiar link to my former best friend.

But again, I drew up with nothing. All my mind contained was me. There was no Lissa and no psychic connection.

I halted Christian in his spewing of curses at me stopping so suddenly when I whispered, low but still loud enough for him to hear me..."It's gone."

Strange occurings were a cycle by now and I shouldn't have been as surprised as I was. My life was one big example of unnatural.

I could see Christian trying to gauge just how long it'd take me to go bonkers, but all I could feel right now was relief. And maybe that was selfish of me, but I'd had enough of internal screaming and voices to last me more than one lifetime.

I wouldn't say the open feeling in my head was completely unpleasant, it was just different. A good different since I was starting to feel like myself again.

And I didn't need things holding me back when I planned on having myself reassigned to someone who did not live at court. And that reminded me, I had yet to talk to Hans.

Shrugging a reluctant Christian off my back, I made my way to Hans' office in the Guardians' Building. I found him seated at his desk, murmuring into a cellphone. As deemed proper, I waited till he got off the phone and turned to me to present my case.

Needless to say that was the first time I saw the Head Guardian stumped.

"So you fight nearly everyone to become Vasilisa's guardian and now you suddenly want to back out ?" Hans asked.

I shrugged. "Look, everyone knows that she needs to be protected by the best and I...can't be the best for her. My record speaks for itself." I tried playing the self-deprecating card, though I knew damn well that no one would be able to protect her better than me.

Well maybe Dimitri would, but then he was the one to make me. I shook my thoughts away. I didn't want to think about that bastard anymore. "Just give me someone who doesn't live here. They need better protection anyways." I said.

Hans narrowed his eyes. "You're right."

I exhaled. At least something's going right.

"Your record speaks for itself. You're staying here. You are no more that immature kid you were when you left the Academy and I'm not losing a guardian as capable as you to notorious playboys." Hans said with finality.

I spoke too soon. "But-" I was cut off by his sharp glare.

"You're dismissed, Rose" He said curtly, before turning his back to me. I huffed.

I could say I'd just run off again, but I didn't want to. I'd had enough of being at odds with my surroundings and always looking over my shoulder. I wanted a break, dammit.

Not gracing him with any reaction, I simply left Hans' office. Another thing out of my control. I was stuck here, I lamented as I reached my room.

Crashing on my bed, I thought over the last few days. Safe to say I don't want to visit my fall very often but there was something very odd about the way I felt.

I could feel the waves and pulses of darkness embedded under my skin. Could practically taste it's potency. But I didn't understand it. And I didn't know if anyone could help me with it.

No one except for Christian knew of my ability and I wanted to keep it that way. My mind turned to another matter equally important, the bond.

Not that I missed it, but how did it just vanish ? Was it the darkness ? Or something else ? What if with the bond gone, Lissa gets into some kind of danger ? How would she be protected ?

I nearly slapped myself for those thoughts. Lissa was no one I needed to worry about, I shouted at my mind. But I couldn't escape the fact that until I found a way to be reassigned, she was my responsibility.

And damn if I was letting her brazen treatment stop me from doing my duty.

I couldn't give what it'd take to keep the 'Last Dragomir' safe, huh ? Well, that jerk had another thing coming.

Starting tomorrow, I'd go back to everything I'd neglected in favor of him and I was doing it with more stoicness than he had ever possessed, i vowed to myself. No one, especially not a self-serving bastard, was ever going to hurt me again.

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 **You know what to do if there's anything you wanna say to me. I appreciate any thoughts or opinions, even suggestions. So go ahead and tell me what you think !**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hello readers ! Happy New Year to everyone out there ! May this year be everything you want it to be. Thank you for being so patient with me and sorry for making you wait for the next part of the story. But now I'm back and here's a little update for starting 2018. I hope it's worth the wait...don't forget to let me know ! Read along !**

 **DISCLAIMER: Characters are the brainchild of the wonderful Richelle Mead.**

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Early next morning found me in my guardian uniform and outside Lissa's room. I was standing at the door, contemplating whether to just barge in or knock.

I knew she was up and surrounded by the rest of the 'gang'. I could hear the voices wafting from the room. That was another thing. My senses seemed to be amplified. All of them. I could even identify the people the voices belonged to. There was Adrian, Christian, Tasha (my lip curled of it's own volition), her and Eddie.

That last person made me feel slightly guilty. He was my brother and I'd neglected him, too absorbed in my own drama to pay attention to what was going on with him. After Mason, we were the only family we'd left. I sighed internally. When had I started behaving so negligently towards my friends ?

Oh yeah, when you drowned yourself in a certain Russian, my mind chastised. Whatever.

I squared my shoulders and turned the handle. The door opened and all eyes swiveled to me as I sauntered, yes sauntered, into the room. If I was going to be an oddity, might as well be an oddity with my signature Hathaway charm. But not once did my face slip from it's mask.

Considering it a small victory, I looked at each of the faces belonging to my friends before sweeping my gaze around the room. The opulence didn't surprise me, but the tall body leaning against the wall, almost casually, did. Still I willed my eyes to not take more than a cursory glance and move on.

My motor functions actually listened to me and I completed the survey of the room.

"Rose !" I heard the surprise in Lissa's voice. "What are you doing here ?" She asked as if she really cared.

"I am your guardian, Princess and it is my duty to accompany you." I said formally, my voice devoid of emotion. "You shall not be bothered by me unless you need me." And with an incline of my head, I settled against the wall.

I could tell I had surprised her and the others. I resisted smirking. They expected everything to be the same. Alas, they would not be getting their wish.

Lissa approached cautiously. "Rose..." She started gently, probably expecting me to blow up. To be truthful, Rose Hathaway of a few days ago would have. Now I simply looked at her.

I could see my unwavering stare was making her uncomfortable for a few seconds before she shook herself into her royal persona. One she hadn't used on me...at least, not until recently.

"Are you okay ?" She asked, voice still akin to honey. I merely blinked. That was enough for Lissa to start blabbering.

"I was so worried !" She breathed. "I thought I'd give you some time to recover before I came to you." She threw a glance at Dimitri when I didn't reply still.

"Rose ?" She brushed a hand against my shoulder. But then jerked it back almost violently as I felt the darkness surge up again at her touch. Her eyes looked at me with the most amount of fear I've seen in them. She was afraid of me.

My mouth twitched but I resisted the smile. "What happened to you ?" She whispered and I chuckled under my breath.

"Reality." I bore my gaze into hers. Her jade eyes darkened a shade in her confusion. My eyes flickered over the rest of them, coming to rest on Christian. I shook my head almost imperceptibly, while he nodded the same.

He knew not to speak about my powers to anyone. Knew I needed time to figure them out myself. But the others didn't seem to get the memo. They surrounded me from all sides like I was a criminal that needed hoarding and watch. I frowned.

"Little Dhampir..." Adrian started. "You..." But didn't or couldn't continue. I saw his eyes flickering around me, looking at my aura. I knew what he was going to say. It would be dark. Darker than usual with no silver or any other colour for that matter. It was only plausible, what with all the darkness I'd consumed. Besides, I still didn't know all the effects of these powers I now possessed.

"Rose ?" Eddie called. I turned to him. He was still as cute as ever and he'd grown up to be so fit, I could see the indentations of his fine muscles beneath his shirt. He was still unassigned. I smiled. A small twitch of my lips before it vanished.

"Hey Eddie." I said. "Sorry for not checking in for so long." I shrugged.

Eddie shrugged. "It's okay. It's not like you didn't need it." And I could hear the tense note in his voice. I also knew who it was directed at. It was nice to know someone would come to rescue me, should I ever fall back into that pit again. If I allowed it. It warmed something inside me.

It felt good. So naturally Christian had to ruin it. "What you need is new sense of humor, Rosie-Posie" He snickered. "You look like a straggler." And he topped the insult with a disapproving once-over.

I smirked. Leave it to him to say something off-kilter. "I thought I'd have it approved by my one and only gay best friend." I smiled sweetly as I ran a hand along my attire.

I knew I looked good. Just like I knew that comment was a way to distract attention from the heavy tension. Mission accomplished, I thought as everyone laughed at my answer.

But Adrian was still scrutinizing me. And I knew I had to be crude to get him off my back before people knew about me. I didn't care what people thought of me but I knew the moment anyone from court knew about my powers, I'd be put in a cell and examined like a lab rat. Nobody wanted that, least of all me.

So I sucked it up and directed a stoic face at him. "I'd appreciate not being subjected to leering, Ivashkov." I said. He looked taken aback for a second before recovering.

"I know you enjoy it." He replied with a wink, before Lissa directed all attention to herself again. I scoffed. So like her.

While she had everyone's gaze pinned on her, her own was steadily fastened on me. "I can't feel you." She said with a building note of hysteria. "Why can't I feel you ?"

I shrugged, never losing the composed facade. I could feel Dimitri's gaze flickering between me and Lissa. I idly wondered what he saw. The immature girl who was in love with him and her best friend, or an angel and her disciple.

"I don't think it means anything. You said the bond fizzled when you restored Dimitri, didn't it ?" Tasha said. "Maybe you'll feel it back in time."

Lissa shook her head. She knew this was different. Permanent, somehow. But she couldn't put her finger on it and Rose wasn't helping. She knew something was different when she woke up the other day, feeling like she was reborn. Her mind was clearer and everything was in sharp focus. Except for her memory.

Oh she remembered the way she'd treated everyone. How she insulted Christian and Rose and everyone else and sidled up to Dimitri but she knew they'd understand once she explained everything. That was why she'd called up everyone in her room. The plan was to go to Rose once she had apologized to everyone else.

She hurt her best friend the most and she planned on making everything right. Only it seemed Rose wanted nothing to do with her anymore, not that she could be blamed. She was hurt and with good reason. But she knew her best friend well enough to know that she'd come around in due time and she knew herself well enough to know that she would try her best to push towards that with everything she had.

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 **So...Adrian suspects something at least...Maybe Dimitri does too ? And what about Lissa ? Is she really all that innocent ? Find out in the next chapter !**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hey everyone ! I know, I know, I'm late with the next chapter...but well, I apologize. Here's the new chapter ! Enjoy, readers !**

 **DISCLAIMER: Not mine.**

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There was a time when I craved attention and enjoyed it almost as much, much more than was appropriate for a guardian. Dimitri changed all of that. And now that my friends were looking at me like they wanted to cut me down and know what was wrong with me, I felt small and cornered. Believe me when I say I never want to feel like that again. It made me feel threatened...like that time when Dimitri imprisoned me...or the time when Isaiah held us hostage.

I straightened up. No one was ever going to make me feel like that again. I could take all of them with my one bare hand now. So I turned the smartass back on. "See something you like ?"

Recognition filled Dimitri's eyes and his face showed just how much he wanted to say something, but Adrian beat him to the punch.

"Oh little Dhampir, you don't realise just how much I like everything I see" he teased and the mood lightened a bit, but Lissa still seemed unconvinced. What was making her so suspicious ? More than that, why did she care ?

Lissa watched this interaction mutely. Maybe Tasha was right and the bond was only temporarily down, but this space in her head was new and unwanted. A pit formed in her stomach as she kept a steady gaze on her best friend.

The curves and contours of Rose's body started blurring together with the air of the room. She seemed to be dissipating into thin air and Lissa opened her mouth to scream, except it never made out. A heavy cloak of intense black surrounded Rose like a blanket. Small wisps of the inky shadows curled around her form, making her look like a dark angel. That was terrifying in itself, but what actually made Lissa step back then was Rose's face.

Her beautifully exotic features bled into an unearthly beauty fed by the air around her. Her chocolaty eyes turned a black so deep, their pupils were indiscernible. Her tan was gone and the paleness of her cheeks amplified the murder in her eyes. Hers was the face of death.

Then Lissa blinked, and the mirage was gone. Rose's face was back to normal and there was no shroud of darkness around her. That was when Lissa realised that she'd been seeing Rose's aura. She swallowed. Because that meant that Rose had a lot of darkness in her at the moment and she'd seen how it affected Rose. It was a marvel she was even standing here talking so casually with all of them.

I noticed some kind of recognition come into Lissa's eyes at that moment. It was like she'd discovered some secret and I wondered if she'd realised that the bond was gone permanently or the reason behind it. That wouldn't bode well for me.

"You don't have to stand in the corner, Rose." Lissa said then. "You never have before and you'll always be my friend before my guardian." She continued. I gave her a half-smile. If she wanted to play the nothing-ever-happened card here, I wasn't helping her.

"That may be the case in the past, Princess. But now that I've been officially assigned to you, I'll opt for doing my duty." And with that said, I simply walked off towards the door. "And since you already have Guardian Belikov inside, I'll just guard the door. Excuse me." I inclined my head and slipped out of the room.

No one followed me outside. Well, that was easy. But I shouldn't have been surprised. I was in a self-harming haze for nearly a month and none of them noticed. How appropriate 'Out of sight, Out of mind' sounded right about here.

Standing at the door, listening to the conversation going on inside, because let's face it, curiosity was probably my biggest mortal fault, I thought back to the past year and a half of my life.

Lissa was my biggest worry when we returned to the Academy. Then came Dimitri...the mentor I fell in love with and then came Mason, his death and then the attack at the Academy. The final straw that ripped apart every seam of my life and left me in shambles.

I remembered the feeling I got when Mason confirmed that Dimitri was Strigoi...the overwhelming grief, the deep sorrow. The realization that I'd once again lost someone precious to the one enemy who never seemed to be defeated. Then the disbelief when I actually saw Dimitri again...the emotional pain the first day...the mental haze the remaining days...then at last the death of the last part of my heart when I plunged the stake in his chest. There hadn't been anything worse than that, at least that's what I'd thought then.

I shook my head. Why was I even thinking back to those times ? Things had changed majorly now. Lissa was no longer the girl I thought I knew, Dimitri seemed to have fallen into worshipping her, Adrian was-although suspicious of what was going on with me-moving on for the most part, but most of all, I wasn't the girl I'd been then or even after Russia. I was no longer Rose Hathaway-the rebellious teenager who risked everything for the people she loved. She was weak. Now I was Rose Hathaway-the girl who learned not to give a damn, the girl who knew honour and the girl who was done letting people crush her under the name of love.

Straightening my shoulders, I focused on bringing my mind back to the task at hand. I needed answers, but there was no one I could turn to for help...or was there ?

My mind pushed the name to my conscience...the one man who would know if anything like this had happened before and where I could go to find the answers I sought. I smirked to myself. It was time to pay daddy dearest a visit.

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 **So ? Found it to your fancy ? Meet me in the reviews to tell me all about how this is coming along. Any opinions or thoughts are awaited and appreciated. See you !**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thank you so so much, everyone. I really can't believe I have so many people who take the time to read and review my stories. Now, I had a short term writer's block but then I remembered the direction I wanted to take this story in. Everything will be explained in due time, though. Meanwhile, do keep reading !**

 **DISCLAIMER: Don't own them.**

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Finding Abe proved to be harder than I thought. No one knew where the man was and I ended up having to go to my mom's room to ask about him. I was so not looking forward to that. Of course, our relationship had improved over the last few months and I now knew her a lot better than before, hell even respected her to a new extent, but this wasn't something I wanted to talk about with her. But as my luck would have it, I found the one person I was looking for in the last place I wanted or expected him to be. In my mom's room. I sighed.

"I need to ask you a favor." I said. Abe chuckled.

"Sure, little girl. Come in." He gestured behind him and we walked to the small living room. I looked around for my mother, but she was nowhere to be found. Where was she ?

"What happened ?" Abe asked. I knew he was a little wary of me after the Tarasov break-in, but that was pretty overshadowed by his pride in me. I smirked internally. He and I were more alike than we both cared to admit.

"I need to go to Russia." For the first time since I'd known him, Abe tensed visibly. He knew quite a few about what had happened in Russia and almost everything about the danger I faced returning there again. Also, he knew the trauma associated with the country. I could see it in his eyes. He wouldn't let me go. Not if he could help it.

He opened his mouth to tell me as much, but I cut him off.

"This is important." I said. "I need you to trust me on this." At his calculating look, I continued. "I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important, Dad. Please." I wasn't begging him by any means but I was imploring him to trust me once again. And I was pretty sure he was utterly surprised by the inflection in my voice. And the fact that I called him Dad. He relented. A little bit, at least.

"Fine. I'll book you a flight soon." Thank God. "But I'm coming with you." I needed to stop getting ahead of myself. I shook my head.

"No." I denied it as strongly as I could. "You're not. I need to do this alone." I said. "Besides, I just need to go to Baia. Nothing's gonna happen."

He frowned. "Why Baia ?" I tensed just a little. "I thought we agreed on a deal. You're not going back there." He was full parental mode now. I sighed. I hated it when I had to explain my every action, but if I wanted him to help me, I had to give him something.

"We only had a deal that I'd leave. I never promised I wouldn't return." I said sardonically, then sighed. "There are some things I need to do. I need to know more about myself, about the bond and the only place I can think of is Baia." I said. "I need to meet up with Mark and Oksana."

He raised an eyebrow. "And the Belikovas ?"

My heart tightened a bit. I'd loved staying with the Belikovas over the short time I had and as much as I'd stereotyped small dhampir towns at the time, it was the most loved I'd felt since Dimitri. They were good people and they deserved happiness more than anyone I knew. And yet, I wasn't the one who could do it. I'd only given them bad news and heartache the first time around and still they'd showered me with love and acceptance. I couldn't go to them again. Still I wondered if they knew about their son's restoration, before I shook myself out of any thoughts of him.

"That chapter is closed." My face was stoic enough that Abe paused for a moment.

"When are you ready to leave ?" He asked a moment later.

I breathed a sigh of relief. "As soon as possible." I got up. "One more thing. Don't let Mom know about this." I warned as I left.

It was strange when I found myself walking towards the air-strip some two hours later. I had returned to my room and packed hastily. I didn't want to tell anyone where I was going and I wasn't going to leave any clues. I had to do this on my own. It was for the best. Besides, no one cared and I wanted to keep it that way.

The darkness in me swirled with my emotions and it was a bit painful to have this ball of energy writhing within me. God, it was so much better this morning when I'd gotten a break from these emotions. But I'd known it wouldn't last. Something Victor Dashkov once said came back to me. 'You don't hold back your feelings, your passion, your anger.' he'd said. And I suppose it was true in a sense. I did think on my feet most of the time, but as long as it got the job done, I didn't really care.

I found Abe near the private jet that was to take me to Russia. A guardian took my bags as Abe motioned for me to follow him. I did and the both of us boarded the plane. He told me he was coming with me. When I started to protest, he simply said that he had some business to take care of and he'd just drop me off. I was skeptical, but let it go. I had enough on my mind as it was.

Just before the jet took off though, I got a little annoying surprise in the form of one Christian Ozera. Startled, I turned to Abe. "What's he doing here ?" I demanded.

"You wound me, Rosie. I thought we were friends now ?" He said sarcastically as he settled into his seat opposite me.

I was still glaring at my father who wore a slightly amused expression. "He came to me after you'd left. Said something about you needing some help with the bond." I could tell he wanted to know what that was all about. I was even surprised that Christian hadn't told, considering that the mob boss of a Moroi could get anything out of anyone if he wanted to. That made me respect Christian a very tiny bit more. "Besides, I know none of your others friends, not even the princess, know about this trouble you seem to have. So, he's going to help you with your search."

But I was still fuming. "What about Lissa ?" I asked Christian. He merely shrugged. "It's court. She'll be safe." Cue a sardonic smirk. "Besides, she already has a heavy guard."

I knew what, or rather who he was talking about but I didn't acknowledge it. As the plane rose, my head split open and black shadows danced across my vision worse than ever before. God, I hated some of the more painful side effects of the bond. Especially ghosts, no matter how handy they were during an overwhelming Strigoi situation. I would've thought this part was over when the bond dissolved, but when did I ever have things go easy for me ?

My lips opened in a shrill scream as I held my head. I was convinced my brain was melting and I could feel two of Abe's guardians holding me down as Christian slipped something onto my wrist. The pain ebbed slowly but surely and I could see things again.

Looking over at him questioningly, I found him shrugging. "Lissa charmed a few pieces for you." When my gaze turned alarmed, he smiled. "Don't worry, she'd done it just in case your previous ones were worn off. She doesn't know. Not yet."

Reassured for a while, I leaned back in my chair and settled comfortably. It was a long flight to Russia and an even longer journey to Baia. I needed my sleep if I wanted to be alert for tomorrow. And soon sleep engulfed me, with thoughts swirling in anticipation for what was to come next.

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 **Thoughts ? Do tell me how you find it !**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So, I know I'm a little late with the update on this one, but I had a bit of a crisis in what I thought I wanted to write for this chapter. This one is basically a filler on the situation through the viewpoints of Lissa and Dimitri, and I have the next chapter already written. I'll update the next one very soon. Anyhow, this chapter has me a little nervous about the way you all will find it, but I'm open to all that you wonderful people have to say.**

 **And I'm not going to waste any more time rambling, so...go ahead and get a read !**

 **DISCLAIMER: Don't own the characters and not intending any infringement.**

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There were few things that had Lissa frozen. She was a royal Moroi, the last of a very powerful lineage at that. She was born with the polite smile and the high demeanour, the diplomatic attitude and the ability to get her demand completed at her whim. These things made her seem shallow and self-centered, something she liked to believe she was not. Circumstances had made her grow up early and Rose's support and reckless attitude moulded her into what she was today. And shallow was not it.

But her current predicament had her shivering and yet the most standstill she'd ever been. Her mind seemed a little too slow for the situation and the only thought she could form was that she needed Rose with her right now. Only she was nowhere to be found. She was all alone, despite having around five or six people surrounding her, not counting the guardians lined against the walls. It was all too surreal.

Queen Tatiana Ivashkov, in all her regal glory and hypocritic attitude had stood from her throne and walked towards her. She had met her before, but that was when she was dressed more like a businesswoman than a royal ball-barbie (She had cringed internally at her Rose moment). But she did not flinch.

"We are glad you decided to dispose of Ms. Hathaway, Vasilisa. The royals of a line as powerful and worthy as yours shall not be tainted by some unworthy dhampir." There had been a slight smile in her voice causing Lissa's eyes to narrow slightly in annoyance. "The board has decided to give you a guardian who would not be such a bad influence." She was smiling then.

"With all due respect, Your Highness" she'd interrupted. "Rose is an incredible guardian. She is the one who found the way to restore a Strigoi, as you have seen right before your eyes." She could tell the queen was not impressed with her defending Rose, but she was her best friend. Her rock, her support. She was always there for her, even when she was halfway around the world. It was her turn now. "If not for her, we would still be in the dark about a lot of Spirit. Not to mention her impressive performance in battles and solo killing." Her sense of pride in Rose tripled in that moment.

Tatiana raised her chin. "If you defend her based on her unlawful and stupid stint in Russia, I would be happy to tell you she could be outlawed for that, if it was ever raised in the board." Lissa's eyes widened at that. No one, not even the craziest of criminals in the history of Moroi civilization had ever been outlawed. It was just a rule not meant to be raised. A verdict never to be sentenced.

The queen smiled at her again. "We are pleased to have reached a mutual decision. Your guardian will be with you shortly, Vasilisa. Have a good day." She was dismissed with Tatiana turning back to her throne. Looking around at the people surrounding her, she found no comfort or support in their faces. Everyone here was a puppet of the Queen and they were all against having Rose as a guardian. She was more bewildered and disgusted than angry right then.

"Oh Vasilisa..." The queen called when she'd reached the door and Lissa turned back around. "Do tell to show up for the Age Decree tomorrow." She smiled. Lissa was too stunned to do anything but bow and exit the room.

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Being a guardian was all Dimitri Belikov had ever thought about for as long as he could remember. It was all he knew. 'They come first' was his lullaby and his prayer. Until the day he stumbled upon a certain brunette leaning out of a college dorm room window and staring directly at him with eyes that had seemed like endless pools of the most sumptuous chocolate even in the dim lighting.

Eyes that could stare into him so deeply, even a surgical knife would fail. Eyes that would turn wide with wonder when he showed her a new move, eyes that would narrow when she was annoyed and eyes that would smile in a whole different way than her mouth when she thought of yet another witty remark. Eyes that would become the beacon of a siren when she wanted to play seductress. Eyes that were framed in a face so exotic, it seemed deadly and angelic all at once.

But oh god, as much as he loved her eyes and the various expressions in them, his heart was entranced by the long, cascading mane of soft velvet that was her hair. The colour, the texture and the way they'd fan around her like a halo when she slept. The almost rhythmic swing of it along her deliciously arched back.

The moment Dimitri had seen her, he was a dead man. Of course, he wasn't aware of it then and when he was, he'd tried to trump the feeling down multiple times, but Rose had always been there to demolish any walls he thought he'd built. She was always there; his partner, his other half, his life, his love. His Roza.

And now, now he couldn't stand the sight of her. Not because she'd done something wrong or hurt him in any way, no. But because of her passion and drive that allowed him to return from the state of the undead. From being the soulless creature that killed without remorse. The ultimate betrayal of life.

His Roza had made it possible for him to have a life he no longer deserved, a chance he no longer felt he was worthy of. He knew all of that and he admired her for it. He loved her, plain and simple. He always had. But he couldn't have her now. He already wasn't deserving of her when he'd been at the top of his career as a guardian to the Princess, but now ? Now when he was the monster that he had been, and with the added guilt of what he had done to her in Russia, he couldn't be in the same room as her without wanting to kill himself in a thousand different ways. So the only way left was for him to push her away. She was better off without him and he could survive knowing she was safe and happy, away from him.

At least that was what he thought. Until the day he came to know that Rose Hathaway was no longer among the people at court. She was gone.

Dimitri Belikov was a guardian, had been a Strigoi, a man of his word and a man who broke all of those promises. But he had never been weak. So when Head Guardian Hans Croft called him into his office and told him that Rose had left, he was lost. He couldn't think beyond the fact that Rose was gone and he didn't have a chance to apologize and make amends. Granted, if she were still here, he wouldn't have the guts to admit his feelings for her, but he still had a chance if she was at court. But now with her gone...missing, was what Hans had said...he was frozen. Weak, and vulnerable.

He had multiple flashbacks to Spokane and the state he had found Rose in, then those led to flashbacks of the time he'd found her in Russia, with a single cut on the side of her head that was bleeding slightly...and the way he'd wanted to drain her then and there...and the way he'd fed on her regularly all that time...the look of pure ecstasy washing over her everytime he took some of the sweet honey she had flowing through her veins...And the way his gums would throb with need every time he-

"Belikov ?" Hans' voice shook him out of his tortured daydream. That was all Dimitri heard before disgust and guilt overwhelmed him and he simply left.

This was extremely out of character for him, but so were his memories and he needed to deal with them before he could hear anything else about Rose. All he realised was that Rose was missing when she was a red target amongst the Strigoi and it was all his fault.

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 **So ? How was it ? Did I match upto the story I've been building so far ? I'd love to hear your thoughts about it. Please review !**

 **X**

 **Ahluwalia Kaur**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Good day readers ! A shout out to all the amazing people who reviewed this piece all over, you guys are simply amazing ! It's awesome reading the views you people have and the boost you give me is more cathartic than chocolate. So, I won't rant much, simply urge you to read ahead and of course, tell me how you feel about the turns the story takes now. I'll be waiting !**

 **DISCLAIMER: Not mine.**

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Things tend to change. Nothing ever stays the same, the seasons, the emotions, the motions, the life. The Universe. Change is not always good, but it isn't always bad either. You may not necessarily like how your life changes, but it can sometimes turn out for better. And humans crave change a lot.

I wasn't fully human, but oh well. That was just another technicality I'd be happy leaving to rest. Like the technicality that my life at the current moment was the classic example of upside down. But being who I was, I'd try taking it into my stride or die trying to change it to my acceptance. The very reason I was halfway around the world. Again.

Thoughts plagued around my mind the entire plane ride to Russia, and as the plane landed in , memories started flashing before my eyes. The first time I'd seen these buildings, the time I'd spent here, the remorse I held for not being able to witness the beauty this place held between it's folds. And the constant heartache I carried with me. Not much had changed now.

Granted, I was here with my father and Christian, so that probably said more about the situation than I needed to. This wasn't a really good change. It was my idea to be in Russia...well, Siberia to be exact, but I'd have preferred being alone this time around too. But Abe wouldn't have it any way other than his and it was all I could do to even get him to agree to let me come anywhere near the country.

My heart ached the entire way to the mansion Abe owned nearby, and I could feel the chasms of memories oh-so-sweetly painful trying to pull me under. I remembered the way Dimitri was with me, how happy he'd made me, how all I wanted to have was him by my side forever, and how he'd crushed all of that in one single sentence. 'Love fades, mine has.' I couldn't help but ask myself how ? How could it all lead to this ? Was that it ? The end of a love story that never really had a chance to live ?

I shook myself out of my reverie violently. I didn't need all that. It was a chapter closed. It was also a chapter that needed to stay closed, or I would lose my mind. I was here on a mission. I needed to know about myself now, and as long as I got to take out some of my anger and hurt on unsuspecting Strigoi every once in a while, I'd be okay throughout my stay. Not that my companions needed to know that.

"Are we there yet ?" I asked as I looked over at my father. Christian was holding a book that looked really old and dusty. I wondered where he got that, considering the title was in Russian. I didn't even know he was fluent in the language. Abe chuckled.

"In a little while." He said, and then shifted like he wanted to say something but wasn't sure how to start. It was a small wonder, watching Zmey squirming. As I raised my eyebrows at him, he spoke. "Your mother called." He said. "She wants to know where you are, because the princess and Belikov cornered her and practically grilled her for answers." He chuckled again. "She's furious that I left her out of the loop."

I only nodded. I didn't have anything to say to that and I wasn't sure I wanted anyone to know where I was. There was a reason I'd left so quietly. The court and the people there had a way of not accepting change and I had no intention of being a lab rat for them. I needed to figure this out myself. Besides, there was nothing left at court for me, so why the hell not ?

My thoughts were interrupted when the car pulled up to a huge double-storeyed mansion. Okay, I know I said Abe owned a mansion, but this was something out of a fairytale. The place was huge. I'd stayed in posh hotels the first time around, thanks to the money Adrian had given me; so I wasn't a stranger to luxury. But I hadn't seen anything like this before. Beautiful didn't do it justice, I thought as I stared in awe.

The white stone walls held a certain superiority as the sprawling structure worshipped the land in reverence. This was postcard perfect. The lavishly carved wooden front door opened up into an intricately designed foyer. But what probably held my attention the most on the inside was the majestic staircase of luscious mahogany with a graceful banister of carved rosewood that lead up to the soaring second gallery. I was pretty sure my jaw was getting intimate with the ground at this very moment.

"You live here ?!" Christian's incredulous voice pulled me out of my wonder. Although he was a royal Moroi who never needed to worry about money and held a high social status (in technicality), he was stupefied at the sight of this house too.

Abe chuckled. "When I'm here." He said, then turned to the both of us. "We'll leave for Baia tomorrow morning. You two should rest." He then introduced us to a guardian who looked vaguely familiar to me. He'd seemingly appeared out of nowhere and I realised how careless it was of me to not even have noticed him coming in. "Pavel will show you around." He said. "And if you kids need anything, just tell him. I'll meet you at dinner." And he left.

"What will we be doing till then ?" Christian asked sarcastically and I shrugged; I was pretty sure I'd be busy the entire time till dinner. There was plenty to do in this house. As Pavel led us around the many hallways, I noticed all the portraits that hung seemingly side by side and yet far enough from each other that they all held an air of superiority and image I could only wonder about. "Who are all these people ?" I thought aloud. I didn't really expect an answer but Pavel spoke up. "The Mazurs."

The answer was simple, but explained enough. But still I stopped dead in my tracks as soon as we stepped on the second floor landing. There, gracing the wall on the very first was a life-sized portrait of...me. How was this possible ? I had met Abe only a few months ago...but then it shouldn't really surprise me. He was very resourceful and I should've known he wouldn't let anyone keep him from knowing who his daughter was. But as we moved along, I could see bits and pieces and scenes of a time I didn't remember. There were photographs and paintings that depicted me as a little kid with both of my parents. As I moved closer to a particular one that intrigued me, I couldn't help extending my hand and caressing the canvas that adorned the wall. This one was probably my favourite. Abe was holding me up in his arms as the other one graced my mother's shoulders. Nothing extraordinary with the pose, but it looked like we were...happy. An ideal family. A burn started in my chest and I backed up. I needed to be alone.

As soon as Pavel showed us to our rooms, I locked myself in. It wasn't that I'd ever thought about being a part of a family before, because Lissa had been all I needed...my sister, my support, my family. But that portrait made it seem as if it was all well with us during that time. And I could only wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn't been sent to the Academy. I may have never met Lissa, or Mason, or Eddie, and I'd also have never come in contact with Dimitri. I hated myself for not being able to decide if it was a good or a bad thing.

I closed my eyes as I thought over everything I'd done in my life. I wasn't one of those people who reflected on their actions a lot, in fact, I never did that. I was impulsive and rash and that had suited me just fine...until now. Now, my life had taken an unexpected turn and I couldn't afford to make any hasty decisions. I didn't even know if seeing Mark and Oksana was the best thing to do. What if they didn't know anything ? Or if my change freaked them out ? Where would I look then ? I was stuck with no way out. And I was pretty sure that Lissa would have someone on our trail by now, if she was asking questions. My heart wanted to believe that they'd both care enough about me to come after me or send someone, but a part of my brain knew that they probably only cared because I had Christian with me. I still didn't particularly understand that scene.

Sliding down the door, I took a seat on the floor of my new room as everything started to come back. The overwhelming grief I'd felt when his lips let out words that I didn't think could hurt me this much. How could he ? I cried into my hands. Why was my life such a struggle ? I sobbed. I had given everything; everything I had for the two people who couldn't care about me enough to want me to stay. How did I get to this point ? And why was I still crying when I'd promised myself not to do that anymore ? I wiped my eyes as I felt my fingers start to burn. I looked at my hands as the black tendrils of my so-called magic began seeping out from my fingertips. I'd have been scared if I hadn't seen this happen before; now, I was just intrigued, but it only lasted until the enchanted ring Christian had given me to help with the ghosts began to burn my hand. I hastily pulled it off and threw it away from me. So much for helping me. I scoffed.

I was tired of all this. This constant ache of the muscle between my ribs, the overflowing tear ducts that refused to close and the pounding of something deep in my belly. It was over, yes, but it wouldn't be me if I didn't fight. They thought I'd fight, oh yes I would. But not like they expected me to. I wasn't going to beg anymore, no. I was going to avenge myself and he and everyone else would know what happened when you messed with Rose Hathaway. I smiled. Game On.

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 **So now Rose is on her way to avenge herself. What does she have in store for the people of the world ? Stay tuned to find out ! Your thoughts are always welcome.**

 **X**

 **Ahluwalia Kaur**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: So, it's been ages since I uploaded anything, and I honestly feel extremely bad about it. I mean, I live for writing and I've been neglecting it on a major degree lately. But, I apologize and hope there are still some people who want to continue reading my sweet little attempt at this. No promises, but since life finally decided to take a little power nap, I wish my Muse stays with me so I can provide more updates, but again, no promises on that. I hate breaking my word. Ahem.**

 **Now, for those of you who didn't know it already, I have my own blog now that I like to promote. It's called 'Maple Musings'. If any of you find my writings to your taste, please be sure to visit and comment. Love ya all, people !**

 **Site address:** **https(colon)(double slash)(themaplebyahluwaliakaur).(blogspot).com(single slash)**

 **Ignore the brackets.**

 **As for the story, please go on ahead...**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything but the plot, and nothing but the plot. Enjoy !**

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Abe POV

Lounging around my study, I debated whether I should place the calls right now or wait for a while. I was sure Janine would call me up soon. And she deserved to know about the whereabouts of her daughter. I was just debating if it was safe enough. Sure, I was confident Janine wouldn't do anything to endanger Rose in any capacity, but Rose wanted herself off the radar for a reason and I wasn't about to threaten the fragile peace she craved. Although, I still couldn't process why she thought she'd find that peace here in Russia, the place where she had faced so much pain and loss. But then again, I knew fairly well how the only way to even feel at all sometimes was allow yourself to feel pain. I shook my head, hating the thought of my little girl struggling so much. It went against every fatherly instinct to let Rose be on her own and trust she was fine even when I could clearly see she was anything but.

Rose was strong and fierce, I knew that. But she was still my daughter. I still remembered her first step, her first word, her first fall from the balcony stairs. I sighed. I needed to call Janine. But first, I needed to know what made even Christian Ozera concerned enough to approach me.

Getting up from behind my desk, I was about to go upstairs to Rose's room when the security alarms blared deafeningly. What the hell ? I cursed in Turkish as the door to my office bolted automatically before I could get through. Dammit ! Where was Rose ?

"Pavel !" I shouted for my long-time friend and Guardian. The cell phone in my pocket buzzed to life. "Abe ?" He was out of breath.

"I'm fine. Where's Rose ?" I asked. Silence for a moment and then, "She destroyed the front gates. I'm coming to get you now." The next minute, the door was flung open and Pavel entered with Christian trailing behind.

"Care to explain what's going on here ?" I asked Pavel again. He simply went over to my desk and switched on the flat screen on the opposite wall. When I looked at the screen, I saw Rose. She was heading over to the gates, looking like she was just out for a stroll. Except the minute she reached the front border of the property, she flung out her hand and the iron gate flew right off its hinges like it was made of mere paper. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Christian freeze at the scene unfolding before his eyes. Meanwhile, the guardian stationed at the gates tried stopping Rose, but she was much faster and he dropped like a fly in under a minute.

Nothing surprised me much, but I was at a loss now. What had just happened ? How did she do that ? And where was she going ? I snapped out of my thoughts. "Get someone to follow her. Now." I said. It was getting dark and the Strigoi activity in these areas was particularly bad. The mansion was securely warded, but there were hideouts around here that saw more action than they needed to.

Pavel was already on his way. "I'm coming with you." I said as I reached for my phone. "Me too." Christian called. I looked at him and Pavel started to protest, but Lord Ozera held up a flamed hand. "I can be useful. Besides, Rose and I are a good team." He said, a rueful smile on his lips. There wasn't time for much argument and we were soon on our way following Rose's trail with an additional group of guardians. I just hoped her lethality lasted her against any wandering threats, at least until we found her.

There were multiple ways out of the compound, and with the darkness encroaching steadily, the area was akin to a minefield. As the SUVs rolled out one behind the other, the guardians kept their eyes and ears out for any telling signs. The forest created eerie shadows along the road and the air was heavy with tension. There was Christian, sitting beside me in the middle row of the car and I couldn't help but recall his fear when he saw Rose on tape. He knew something. What, I was going to find out soon enough. There was no way he would have approached me without previously knowing about Rose's...gift.

I wondered what it was she could actually do. She could certainly blow off gates, that was for sure, but what else ? Was the ability dangerous ? Dhampirs were a nearly normal breed, not taking into account their excessive stamina and strength. They certainly weren't known to possess the elements, if that was what Rose displayed in the first place. I knew Rose was shadow-kissed, so was this a consequ-

My thought process was interrupted by a sudden screeching of the tyres as the car swerved dangerously before righting. "What the hell-?!" I heard Christian exclaim beside me, but I was too busy staring at the spectacle in front of me to register it. What the hell, was right. Multiple bodies littered the road, seeming like the ruby decorations that the fables of my homeland boasted about. They lined the shoulders, encircling the trees in a pool of death that would have the most notorious of our Guardians shivering in their boots. Yet, the only thought that persisted in me was how I did not want to happen upon any of those...bodies and see Rose. I had seen a lot of blood in my years, had been the cause of most of it, but this scene far surpassed any of my works. Had Rose done this ? The idea of my little girl, broken as she was, causing harm willingly to anyone was ludicrous to me, but facts spoke otherwise.

Pavel and a few of the other Guardians left their respective cars, forming a protective circle around the car we were in, yet moving forward slowly, carefully analysing the situation at hand. I could count on one hand the number of my Guardians who must have seen this type of mass murder before, and they were some of the best out there.

"These are...Strigoi ?!" Caleb, one of the newer ones in my guard exclaimed, horror, fear, admiration and awe visible in his eyes. Should there be shock coursing through me too ? Because the only thing I could feel then was...relief. I may not have been a part of most of Rose's formative years, but I knew the girl would have probably killed herself with guilt had she harmed someone innocent. I was damn near glad those bodies were Strigoi and not someone else. "All of them ?" Christian asked. "Each single one. How could anyone accomplish this ?" Was Caleb's incredulous reply.

I had to give it to Pavel, the man thought ahead of himself even more than me, and that was saying something. I got out of the car, Christian following me, since the threat of Strigoi was...non-existent now. "Huh. And here I thought she'd need some help." Christian muttered under his breath. He thought it was Rose too ? Curiosity mingled with worry reared its head again. I was worried, yes, because even if Rose had done this, she should be here, which she wasn't. Where was she ? My answer came a moment later when Caleb stumbled over a body lying in the dead centre of the road. Pavel steadied him, but soon lost all colour in his face the moment he looked down. His eyes sought mine in the darkness and I could feel it. I could feel my worst fear coming to life right in front of my eyes.

I marched over to him, breaking the protective formation, but I didn't care. I had to reassure myself that Pavel was wrong. That the small body lying crumpled in a heap at his feet was not my daughter. That I hadn't been too late. But there she was, looking for all intents and purposes like she was sleeping.

Except she wasn't breathing.

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 **And now you know what you gotta do, so I'll just wait for you all. Have fun !**

 **X**

 **Ahluwalia Kaur**


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